Let’s get something straight. The hustle is a soul-sucking demigod wannabe with a slave-driving fetish.
I realized at the end of 2016 how toxic this chronic atmosphere of hustle had become when I took a little trip to see my Naturopath doctor and heard (to my horror) that my adrenal fatigue was exactly where it was 3 years ago when I left my traumatown work in the adult film industry.
But why?? I’m doing what I love! I’m writing! I’m inspiring! I’m perfuming! What gives?!
What gives is that I fell into the inevitable trap of busting ass in a #girlboss on acid culture. You know it well. Women already get notoriously tangled in the always doing/never enough categories of life. Now heap on the cool mystique of being your own boss and the pressure to turn 6 figures as a starter salary in half a heartbeat, and you see why hustling the hell out of even what we love doing can have steep consequences in our lives.
So this year, I decided to mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically tell the hustle to fuck right off.
Care to join me?
Here’s what The Hell No Hustle Club looks like:
1. We DO NOT kill ourselves in our work – we make up our minds to get the work done and TAKE IT EASY while we do it
Real Life Example: I have two new daily planners called Daily Greatness Business & Daily Greatness Journal that are helping me slay practically, efficiently, and at a pace that feels not just manageable, but easy, and dare I say s-l-o-w.
I have a client I write social media posts for that go live every Tuesday and Thursday, I’m taking a bootcamp writing workshop that requires writing on the daily and pitching gigs to land jobs (I’m writing every other day to pace myself and give myself room to breathe), I write weekly for Hiya Tootsie!, am sourcing new bottles for Candy Ass, am working on landing a ghostwriting book contract gig, and am getting lots of personal things researched and strategized.
None of this is at a frantic pace. Instead, it’s a definitive choice to eye-roll stress and simply say, “nope” – and it feels GOOD.
2. We notice ourselves daily – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, relationally, and sexually (read: holistically)
Real Life Example: Mentally: I’m making the conscious effort to pace myself and not load too many things on my plate at once. I am only one woman and can only do so many things well at once.
Emotionally: I practice “therapy writing” where I do a written brain dump into a document on my laptop called Feel. If I don’t take the time to write (and I usually don’t do this daily), I simply check in with myself and see how I’m feeling about everything in my life. If something needs to shift, I notice it and make the necessary shift.
Spiritually: I’m working my way through the New Testament in The Message version of the Bible. I read and highlight the verses that drop kick my heart a chapter at a time every morning before I start my work. I also get on my face and pray out loud regularly.
Physically: I had my first meeting with my online friend turned personal dietician yesterday to help me work through things like sugar addiction, candida, adrenal fatigue, and learning to cook. It was AWESOME and I’m super excited to rock this particular leg of my life journey.
Relationally: I intentionally text my three best friends almost daily to stay connected in both the important and totally mundane, random, funny things of daily life. I also pull the plug on work at a designated hour so I can spend uninterrupted evenings with Keil.
Sexually: I’m reading a book by Emily Nagoski called Come As You Are and am learning about the science and normalcy of my sexuality as a woman.
All of these things make me feel seen because I am actively noticing MYSELF and what I need to feel whole and well.
3. We trust ourselves and how we’re designed
Real Life Example: I’ve made an executive decision once and for all to not come across as someone I’m not. I’m generally pretty damn good at this, but I’m intentionally leaning even harder into it now. This means that I will not put on some stuffy persona to hustle my way into something I want. I will be the informal, chill, immediate bestie to everyone I meet, and I will also be the all together professional and laser focused broad that I naturally am. I have no one to impress or morph for. Who I am is enough and I will intentionally show up as her and her alone.
4. We do not compulsively chase income, we open our best selves up to it, allow it an opportunity to be wowed, and let it chase US
Real Life Example: I’m in the middle of a month long freelance writing workshop called Get The Gig Bootcamp by Jenny Beres and it is SICK. I decided in December that I’d allow freelance writing/editing to carry me financially so that I can give Candy Ass the room she deserves to grow and morph without putting the pressure on her to pay the bills (yet).
In week ONE, I saw a copywriting posting from ipsy on a job board, wrote them to tell them I’m the woman for the job, heard back 3 days later, and have a phone interview scheduled TODAY – January 12, 2017 – at 1:30pm PST.
All I did was open myself up to the idea of learning through a freelance workshop, peeping job boards, and reaching out to a company I admire with my whole self – no pretenses. AND WAHBAM. Interview.
5. We allow ourselves to dream
Real Life Example: I have no idea what’s going to happen with this interview. But my immediate dream is to land the gig, have the sincere honor to provide my expertise and passion to punch up ipsy’s brand voice, become part of a team of beauty industry badasses, learn, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, be invited to include Candy Ass in a glam bag one day.
I will not push it. That would be the hustle. I’ll do what I’m good at – which includes being exactly who I am, building beautiful relationships, and trusting God for all good gifts.
Getting Candy Ass in the glam bag would be nuts. I’ll let myself sink into the joy of possibility and let it do what it will. It’s a blend of desire and release and I AM HERE FOR IT.
How does this sound? Pretty effing epic, right? I’ve been intentionally about this life for a solid 2 weeks now and I. AM. LOVING. IT. I take it easy, cross two or three things (sometimes one!) off my work list, and spend my evenings reading, cuddling my man, and binging Catfish: The TV Show. Very shortly, I’ll spend time in the evenings teaching myself to cook to heal and benefit my bod and entire life.
This shift in thinking and doing is not actually a hard one to make. It’s simply intentional. It’s deciding that no, stress doesn’t get to be boss, and no, the hustle does not get to manipulate me like a marionette puppet. It’s about owning your power and taking back control. It’s about living the life you actually want to live and being the woman you were designed to be.
It’s chill and it still gets shit done. It just gets shit done without the intense feeling of “not enough.” You’re enough. I’m enough. Pacing ourselves to avoid meltdown, burnout, and freak out is enough. The hustle is at war with all of these things and frankly, it’s idolized in a way that ultimately serves no one.
I’m flipping the bird at the hustle. It’ll still be alive and well without me – and I will definitely be alive and well without it.
This is The Hell No Hustle Club. You in? Lemme hear your real life examples in the comments for how you plan to slay in peace. I have a feeling we have a lot of learning from and cheering each other on to do!